The first born makes a mother. They come as a surprise and trench through us making everything we thought we knew nothing, and everything we truly knew deeper and wider. The tiny dependencies dwindling, the vast developments charting themselves as well-planned gifts to wash over us bringing unexpected joy. The discoveries are singular and entertaining, their simplicities and peculiarities are magic crashing. The way we both dread and ache for a future when a calm with less struggle will come, and the learning that calm is gone and in its place a new joyful anxiety.